MrDolly
Thursday 29th
Tomorrow is the big day. I'm so excited! I've packed most my clothes now. I've left some out for work and for working on the house. If I despratly need something I can always pull it out. I'm nervous, excited, and I pray nothing goes wrong. I've been carrying my knife on me more often because I really don't want my luck tested when I'm working nights. Nothing exciting at work has happened, so I'm happy. I looked into my finances and worse case scenario I have to wait a week or two before getting internet. I plan to be fully moved in and complete my bedroom by the end of the month. For the rest of the year I'm going to work on my office and the main room. Walls and floor are really the only concern. I realized too that I've barely decorated my room. The walls are bumpy from the paint my father used. I almost suffocated because of the horrid shit. So I need to be careful about what paint I buy. But, the bumpy walls have kept me from committing. An art piece I bought fell from the wall the other day. The glass shattered and I'm sad to say it has a scratch in it now. I'm glad I haven't bothered putting anything else up. The few paintings I have are light... okay there was another painting that fell one time but that was a long time ago. Actually now that I think about it I'm going to take my butterflies off the wall before it's too late. It's funny. It feels like all my personality was put on a small wall, slowly falling off as time goes on. Now it won't have to fall off. I'll be able to stretch and grow and bloom from these white walls. My little sister painted her walls with random things. I don't think it looks good, but she likes it. I hope I can do that too. Even if someone thinks my space looks horrid, I'll still love it. I saw a cute tall lamp. Now that I think about it, I really like stained glass. Shiny with almost any color I might want. Painting the walls with light. I don't know what I color I want to paint everything. Maybe I'll do a nice beige color, or white. Then have glass decorations hanging so that when the lights come on, a world opens up. Is that a metaphor for how I am? I don't know, but I do like being philisophical. My spelling of things cracks me up.
Either way, I'm so excited. I can't wait.
Tuesday 27th
Good morning! I haven't had time to do much, and I wish I could get more things done with my little online burow. I packed about 70% of my stuff so far. Three more days and I finally own a home! I'm excited and can't wait! I've called water and gas. Today I'm planning on calling the energy company and internet. The internet provider I want isn't available in my area yet, so I'm stuck with being scammed by the bigger company. There's not much I can do, but depending on what I'm offered I may just visit my parents with my laptop. I'm sure they would be happy with me visiting and cooking them food while I do my bills heehee. I still have a huge bubble of anxiety though. I have to pay $115.00 for water/sanitary, the deposit and activation fee. My dad explained to me that people have to come out to do things and it made sense.
Also my sister said she accidently mentioned to our father that I'm getting a house. I'm not mad, just annoyed which is the same for mom if she did say something to my brother. I think it's reasonable to let slip on accident. The only time I'll get mad is if they actually tell him where I'm living. But I trust them not to do it.
Other news, about the state fair. I'm having second thoughts. Should I really go when I'm about to drop so much money? I've started to think that I should really jus wait till next year. Adding another mouth to feed before I know I'm stable isn't the best idea. And even if the tickets are $7, that's $7 not going to recovering from the downpayment. After everything is said and done, I doubt I'll want to spend $150 on a rabbit who I might not be able to feed. Well I'm sure I'll know if I'm able to feed it by the time the fair comes around, but at the moment I'm not ready. Worse case scenario I just have to wait for a year or another event that is selling rabbits. I did find a website selling wool rabbit kits so it might just be better to wait till I'm ready for that. Sheered rabbits look so adorable. It would also give me the ability to make my own things, and give some of that wool to my sister so she can make some money. Selling that rabbit wool would help with extra money.
Not to mention, I wanted to get a cat at some point. It needs to be a kitten so it grows up with the buns. My sister mentioned that there is a colony of cats that live behind where our sister works. It was really funny when she said I should just go grab one from there. It's not a bad idea, I'd be taking a little guy off the streets. I just need to have the money ready for doing snip snips when it's old enough. It's just, I can't stop giggling at the thought of just kidnapping a kitten from the back of a restraunt. Actually that's where my sister got Ethel and that little kit is so cute and loves attention.
Honestly, I think it's just best to get my home and let everything settle for a few months before deciding on anything concrete with pets.
Saturday 24th
I've been having fun playing Wukong. I haven't had anyone watch the stream so I'll probably just play it on my own without doing streams. It's funny that I get more people watching me play The Isle than Black Myth. I'm also pretty happy today. Apparently AI-generation is being trained on itself since there isn't enough training data from humans. I found it very funny. It makes me a bit more optimistic. I'm definitly going to the state fair too. My mom said we could use her car since mine will die. One of my sisters said she'd be happy to use her car too. Either way I'm happy to go. I haven't bought entrance tickets yet, but we're planning on going one day. I'll probably get all our tickets and food vouchers. I don't think we'll be there more than a few hours, but food would be nice.
By the way, six more days before the closing date on my house! I'm so excited. I can barely sleep and it feels like I'm about to explode. Not a bad explosion, like an explosion of blooming flowers. It feels like I'm actually becoming an adult.
The only problem is my father. I found out that he knows I'm buying a house, and my mom told be that my sister told her that he desperatly wants to know where I'm going to live. My mom said she probably said something to my brother, and my brother said something to my father. I know my mom feels bad, but honestly I think this is a good thing. I was having second thoughts on not telling my brother, but this definitly tells me not to tell him. I want to let my brother closer in my life, but not now. He hasn't even reached out to me and he's talking about me to our father. I think my greatest fear right now is my father finding out where I live and just showing up one day with no warning. He did that to my work place. Sure it was to deliver a birthday card, but I don't want to interact with him. It feels like he's excersizing some sort of control over me and that's what I've been running from. If he ever shows up uninvited I'm not answering the door, or I'll be slamming the door in his face after telling him to go away. I just want to live with my rabbits in peace.
Thursday 22nd
I finished the rabbit hutch I bought a few weeks ago. I was very angry when I realized it was too small and couldn't finish it till now. I was building a rabbit hutch from scratch, but for some reason I listened to my mom and just bought one from amazon. I should have just ignored her and finished the hutch, but I figured maybe it's a blessing in disguise? The state fair is coming up. In fact it's the week after I plan to fix up my new home. My plan is to go there and check out all the rabbits. I'm thinking of bringing my sisters since it will be a long drive. The only problem is money, but the entrance fee is cheap, and the food voucher doesn't seem too bad. I want to get a small rabbit that will be comforatable in the rabbit hutch. Of course it will spend most of the time outside, but it will be nice and roomy for the days work takes me out.
When I first started my job, I didn't think it would be so bad. You get an extra day of the week they said to me? Bullshit. My sense of time has never been so abstract. At times I'll sleep over 12 hours if I don't set an alarm. I first thought it was because I was dying, or my depression was too much. Well my depression was part of it. Now what? Well that's not the point. I'm not dying, I'm probably over exaggerating because I get upset.
I want to get a little bunny for my office and bedroom. The two are connected through the bathroom so for a little guy it shouldn't be too small. Monster and Copper will get the big room to themselves. I'm going to keep baby gates between my office and the main room so I can still keep an eye on them, and the three rabbits will be able to see each other. In case one decides to jump the fence, my office will already be bunny proof and they'll hopefully be familiar enough to not harm each other. Of course the three won't be out unless I'm home, so I'll figure out what's happening rather quickly.
Wasn't I going to get a kitten too? Haha. Maybe I'll wait on the kitten if I can afford another rabbit. This could also be the universe checking to see if I'm getting too greedy. Which is why I'm going to avoid rabbits over $150. If there isn't a small rabbit breed for that price or cheaper then tough luck. Either way, this is also a good chance to communicate with other rabbit lovers. I want a rabbit farm in the future, and instead of rabbit meat I might instead go with rabbit wool. There would be a lot less restrictions since I'm not dealing with food. Of course if I want to be self sufficiant in the future I might start a meat farm. That is if the heat doesn't kill them. But I can figure something out in the future. My first thoughts were getting one or two does and just shearing them. Also now that I think about it, going to the fair might be a good way to figure out what breed or rabbit Copper and Monster are. I did a quick search and I think they're the American breed. Monster could also be a Florida White? And if Copper isn't an American breed, she's probably some sort of Chinchilla breed.
Honestly I don't know much about rabbit breeds other than how to care for them. I just learned how to shear Angora breeds. That would be fun, my sister would love all the wool that comes off of it. All of them would be inside rabbits, I don't want to think what would happen if I set them out in 106 degree weather. Also a Flemish Giant would be awesome. Although I think if I got a Flemish Giant I would make an outside area for it. They can get as big as dogs so I'm sure there won't be too much trouble. Just as long as I give it enough warmth and cool for the propper times of the year. Or just let it outside and inside. Something akin to that. I've also wondered about if I should try doing show rabbits. Although that seems more like a pipe dream. That's fine, as long as I have my bunny honeys.
Actually now that I think about it, since I got my rabbits I haven't slept for long periods of time as much. It's probably because they thump and rage against their cages. I tried giving them more toys in their cages. I dropped an empty plastic bottle and Monster started playing with it so I found a favorite toy of theirs. They even like the glass bottles. I was worried at first that they would chew on the plastic, but I haven't found any evidence of that. Not even from the bottle in their cages. I don't think plastic tastes good either.
Monday 19th
Today I bought a game called Black Myth Wukong. I was told some of the game developers are mysoginists, but others have been saying the chinese developers were mistranslated. Either way, I still want to give the game a shot. I didn't really see anything that made me put my hand over my mouth, it all seemed childish to complain about. I'm excited to play, as of writing this there's less than 30 minute left for the game to come out. I don't get to play many games with asian cultures and I've been told this is a darksouls like. The steam summary said it's an rpg. It all seems fun to play and it's not even fully downloaded yet.
Sunday 18th
I've been thinking about making a game but I always get caught up on making animations or even stills. I think I've made a good step today. I saw a streamer making pixel art and decided to get their pixel art program. So here is my little bunny with a little idle.
I'm not done with carving the website so I won't get back to this right away, but I think it would be fun to make a little game similiar to my favorite roblox game. It's simple and shouldn't be too hard to replicate. Instead of making a comic for my idea, a small game would be cool. A story mode and an endless mode probably.
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